Ah, the many many things that have passed by. I should be working, but I'm in a thoughtful mood and can't vent on my lj. This place will do nicely.

Mr. ATL...ah, how I love him so. Even with the web of complications, I love him dearly. There's a part of him that doesn't want to be a wolf, doesn't want to desire more than one female. He sees how great we get along, the wonderful chemistry he and I have. But he is still afraid...afraid of so many things. But I'm not afraid. If he were to meet me, I do not fear him trying to force himself on me. I do not fear him being repulsed by me, even if I am flawed. I've been developing the strength in myself, to believe I have worth no matter the possible reaction. I actually believe that he would like what he saw, regardless. My soul has captivated him, and that soul would shine through me. I know it.

But, that step has yet to be taken. He is considering it, his foot in the air ready to go forward or back. I am hopeful he'll come to me. Just to see me, just to know.

I think of a certain pair that recently met each other for the first time. Remember Mr. Soul Mate? He met with his lady 2 weeks ago...and she recently posted her memories of the time together. I admit feeling a bit tearful, longing for my own story. I can't help the thought in my mind..."That could have been me." But I know that that's wrong. Even though we are alike, even though he would have understood me...I was not his choice. And in the end, that's okay. Cause I want someone who knows I'm right for them as much as I know they're right for me. I don't know that'll happen with Mr. ATL, but it's the gamble I'm williing to make with time.

And I'm too busy to finish apparently...